I have a confession to make… I am an Alpha Female. It’s hard for me to even come out and say these words as I, for the longest time, have fought this truth.
Why? Well let’s start with the definition: an Alpha Female is described as a strong majestic woman who isn’t afraid to ask for what she wants. She is killing it in her career and has a solid group of friends*. All great things right? Wrong. The one pejorative characteristic about her is that she is intimidating. This is where it all falls apart for me – allow me to explain.
I have always strived for excellence in everything that I do. Why do something if you aren’t 110% into it? That, to me, is a waste of time. Now, when it comes to work – I can say, with confidence, that I kill it. When it comes to being a good friend – I can say that I know how to maintain cross continental relationships very well. Now, when it comes to romantic relationships? This is where the proverbial cookie crumbles.
In life, many girls are told that they are to be ‘seen and not heard.’ This isn’t how my parents raised me. I was always encouraged to be inquisitive and not to readily accept things that didn’t make sense to me. Now, at face value, all this is good; however, when in a relationship, these aren’t the most sought after traits.
So brothers what can you do to help an alpha female feel loved and appreciated knowing that this is who she is?
1. Listen to her - easy right?
Men, when I say that women want to be heard, please don’t take it the wrong way. I get it, you too have something to say… and I get that. What I mean is this - women in most cases are going through life trying to have their perspective heard … let alone respected; so, listen to her. There are many voices that have influenced and are influencing the decisions your lady makes; so take the time to understand why she thinks as she does, and you will be surprised at how much more you will learn, love and value her.
2. Be patient with her
I am out here seriously trying to help a brother out … Many times women just want to have a chance to express themselves without the fear of being judged or misunderstood. An alpha female has no problem with expressing herself and like anyone, she too has phases where tempers rises and walls come up. Nothing is worse than being with an impatient man. It doesn’t hurt to take a couple of steps back and let your lady speak her mind. If she is acting out of character, give her room to be herself in that moment. If there is one thing that is sure, it’s that an Alpha Female will always figure out how to make things better.
3. Bring conversations to the table
Many alpha females are in jobs or in other relationships where people rely on them. A lot of the time they are their friends’ major support system and these women tend to give a lot of themselves. Men, when blessed with an alpha woman, don’t always wait for her to initiate a conversation, travel ideas or restaurant choices. Remember that she is always giving of herself and having made the decision to be with you, she trusts that you see her and will share the load when she needs to just hear someone else talk for a change! Nothing is worse than giving of yourself to the point of exhaustion.
4. Be supportive
Gosh! Nothing is worse than a man who feels the need to compete with his woman or worse, be jealous of her. Alpha women are strong willed and intelligent - qualities sometimes difficult for some men to handle, which leads to competition within a relationship. Alpha women kick ass. Point. Blank. And the Period. So if you are in a relationship with one, don’t try and push her into competing with you versus encouraging her to pursue her dreams. Men, seriously, I don’t need you telling me how much more money you make than me or flashing how many ‘friends’ you have because you feel the need for validation. Alpha women aren’t babysitters. We need men who can see that we aren’t trying to beat them. We are simply pushing ourselves to continue excelling in all that we do. So men, if you want to date us, remember that a relationship is a partnership, if I win, we win; if you win, we win.
Now that you have some tips on how to improve your relationships with your Alpha woman, let us know how it works out for you!
Joining this conversation on social media? Use #FearlessFemale #AlphaFemale #TheFearlesself
*Engle, Gigi. "18 Qualities Every Alpha Woman Should Look For In A Boyfriend." Elite Daily 18 Qualities Every Alpha Woman Should Look For In A Boyfriend Comments. Elite Daily, 8 Jan. 2015. Web. 11 Jan. 2016. <http://elitedaily.com/dating/alpha-woman-should-look-for-in-a-boyfriend/899441/>.
Three women going through life.