Sometime you need to throw caution to the wind...
I have always been the cautious friend. The ‘good one’, the one your parents loved and teachers never scolded. I did what I was told and what I believed needed to be done. I sometimes tried new things out, but always held the weight of being the responsible one. I didn’t drink, didn’t smoke, and never really got in trouble. I am always there to take care of you when you’re sick, hurt or too drunk to stand. I’ve always been the silent pillar holding everyone up and always watching our backs for signs of danger.
Very rarely have I thrown caution to the wind. Not because I didn’t want to or wasn’t tempted to try, but more because I always felt like I had to be constantly aware of my surroundings. Who takes care of the girl that takes care of everyone else? Who watches out for her? But every once in awhile, I say fuck it and do something that is ‘outside of my character’. Realistically, it’s probably something that I always wanted to do but held back because it wouldn’t fit into my self-imposed ‘job description’.
Whether it’s kissing a stranger in a foreign country, getting a tattoo, cutting my hair, or dancing the day away in a carnival costume until my feathers fall off - I’m learning to shed these responsibilities and live my life. As long as I am happy where I stand, it doesn’t matter how anyone else feels. I am not commissioned to babysit anyone because they don’t know how to conduct themselves. While I’ll always have my momma bear ways, I cannot allow it to hinder my joy.
This is no dress rehearsal, we lose every moment we decide to cower behind cleverly crafted façades. Carla Harris once said, “If you don’t know if you should try something, always default with the try.” Thank you Ms. Harris; the only way we will learn what’s on the other side of fear and worry is to face it head on.
Three women going through life.